I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
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