I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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