My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
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The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
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we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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