I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
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