I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
