Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize