grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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