they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize