yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
40s are totally the cure
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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