thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Kiss
Puke
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Randomize
