so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
