Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
