Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
