I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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