My brain says no but my pants say off.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I think my moral compass just broke
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
