a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
