I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
