How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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