Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
