Your face is a jimmy john
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
