You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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