who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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