After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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