16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
