Jerry, you need to find god
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
