a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
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