I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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