Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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