First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
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I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
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He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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