he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
