drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
