Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize