Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
