I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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