Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
how drunk are you?
Several
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
