what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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