I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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