I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Randomize
