some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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