yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
