I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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