I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
