At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize