Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize