Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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