The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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