Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
