She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Randomize
