Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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