Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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