JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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