That's intense
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
