I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
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So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
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We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
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