I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
My feet surprised me
Randomize
