Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
