windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
