trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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