He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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